


Watermelons, Coffee, and well, Peas

by Hadzy



Series: PH Peas Are Beans Wars [2]
Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Gen, Part 2, Slice of Life, evil (?) lila, lukas and lauren get tricked, peas are beans war, second battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadzy/pseuds/Hadzy
Summary: I'm just uploading the second part: second battle.Don't even ask about the tags.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White, Lila Desroses/Lukas "Grumpy Cat" Randall, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Series: PH Peas Are Beans Wars [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910404
Kudos: 20





	Watermelons, Coffee, and well, Peas

(You gotta read Peas are Beans first) 

Lukas never felt this irritated in days. 

He was in a really good mood, making way to the break room, where his beloved coffee awaits. He can already smell the strong scent of black coffee, soothing his nostrils, relaxing his body. It was lunch, and that also means coffee time. Coffee mug in hand, Lukas started to return to the patrol unit, glaring at people along the way and opened the door. 

Now, typically, when Lukas opens the door during lunch break, he would see Kym and Will bickering, Lauren and Kieran talking silently in the corner, glaring daggers at each other. Lila would be typing on her typewriter snacking on an apple, and Harvey’s picture would be sitting on what was his desk. 

This was different. 

Lukas never expected Kym holding a pistol, watermelon sitting sadly in the corner. He never expected Kieran to hold a chair aimed at Lauren. He was ever so surprised to see Will and Lauren with their guns pointed at Kym and Kieran. Will, the perfectionist, is holding a gun, pointed at the none other, Kym Ladell. 

Lunch remains were littered everywhere from lunch bags to pastry crumbs. The patrol unit was huddled in a corner, including Lila, staring at the battle unfolding in front of them. He could see them tremble in fear as Kym took a step closer to Will. Despite her upbeat personality, everyone in the precinct knows that Kym has excellent, no godly, marksmanship. 

“ What in the world are you all doing here?”

Lukas broke the silence. He must have been glaring or was emitting a dark aura because everyone in the room froze. After a moment of silence, Kieran stepped toward Lukas, holding out a hand. 

“ Officer Randall, would you like an alliance with me and Ladell?” 

Lauren slapped Kieran’s hand away, sticking out her own hand in front of Lukas. 

“ Randall, you know a pea is not a bean right? Make an alliance with us; one vote for Hawkes and Sinclair.” 

Lukas blinked. A pea was definitely not a bean. It couldn’t be. Lukas despised beans, yet he could eat peas. In fact, he loved to eat peas. If a pea was a bean, then he would have hated peas. 

“I take alliance with Hawkes and Sinclair.”   
Lauren and Will cheered; technically they won since their team became a trio after Lukas joined. Kieran and Kym sulked. They lost. They lost to their nemesis. 

“We’ll get you back.” 

That was the final vow/threat after the office went back to normal. 

The next morning…

Lila was preparing the coffee beans in the break room. The sugar, cream, and milk were placed into neat stacks, an icebox set in the corner of the table. Grinding the beans, she quietly took out a pouch containing, well, some kind of powder (its a secret to the readers). 

Lila does not want to betray anybody, yet, she thinks that Kieran and Kym are right. A pea HAS to be a bean. It cannot be any other kind of species despite it’s round, clean, shiny appearance. Yesterday, after work, Lila supposedly promised Will, Lauren, and Lukas that she was on their side. It was forced, and Lila spoke a half-truth. 

She quickly looked around the room, and after she confirmed that nobody was there, she poured in the powder with the coffee powder. Both mixed together well, and the final result ended up as a light brown powder looking like normal coffee. Wiping away the crucial evidence, Lila Desroses left the room, leaving no trace of her behind. 

“What the f***!”

Lukas immediately spitted out his coffee, nearly missing the nearest paperwork stack. Everyone stopped moving. It was rare for Lukas to swear in a large voice, plus, he spitted out his coffee. His BELOVED coffee. 

“Ladell, what did you do to my coffee?”

Lukas coughed, doubling over. 

“What! What do you mean, what did I do to your coffee?”

Kym asked, confused. 

“This coffee tastes like watermelon!”

Kym’s eyes widened. 

“What!? I would never! I swear I don’t know what happened but I don’t remember!”

Will stared dead-eye at Kym. 

“Yeah, yeah, Ladell, apologize to Lukas.”

Lauren was doubling over, laughing hard. 

“Kym’s not lying Will. Somebody’s framing her. However, that was a genius idea to put watermelon into the coffee.”

Lauren laughed and grabbed her own mug of coffee, sniffing it before she brought it to her lips. And… spit it out. 

“Wha- why does this taste like beans?”

“That is because I put it there.”

Kieran entered the room smugly, smiling coyly at Lauren who was choking on her coffee. 

“And, I think you admitted it, Sinclair. I knew it was right to bring dried peas this morning.”

Lauren’s eye widened. 

“No way! No, no, this can’t be-”

Kieran smiled. 

“Homemade peas, grounded, in your coffee. Good for taking protein don’t you think officer?” 

Lauren screamed in frustration and pulled out her gun. Lukas grabbed his own gun swiftly and pointed it at Kieran. In harmony, both said, 

“You are so dead White.” 

Let’s say none of them won, but Lila Desroses did, watching the battle commence.

**Author's Note:**

> How'd you like the powder?
> 
> Touching up the third battle. 
> 
> Had


End file.
